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7 Signs You’re In A Controlling Relationship
If there’s one kind of a relationship you want to get out of FAST it’s a controlling relationship. This is a relationship where the person in charge is a personality that can only handle a relationship that they can control.
Control – if you aren’t familiar – is an illusion. The idea of control may sound cool, but it’s highly unlikely that you’re as “in control” as you might think.
Take it from me – I used to be a bit of a control “monster” for a huge part of my adult life.
I wasn’t out-of-control, but I know I alienated a few people here and there. And the funny thing was that I now know that the control I wanted was just a way of compensating for feeling so helpless as a kid.
But the thing about “toxic” relationships is that they can be created out of thin air. What starts out as a perfectly normal relationship can also spiral out of control into a really horrible situation.
You need to be on your guard to make sure that you don’t fall victim to a controlling relationship. Because a lot of the signs start small, and then only get bigger.
And – in contrast to what you might expect – it’s not just men that are controllers in relationships. Women are found to use this behavior just as much as men do.
So if you find any “controlling red flags here” just be aware that you might not fit this description, but you should see if you might have used the same tactics.
Now, let’s take a look at some of the signs that you might be in a controlling relationship…
Controlling Relationship – Sign 1: He’s watching – everything!
It might show up as criticism, or it might be a weird kind of surveillance you feel on you all the time…
You might feel like you’ve got cameras hidden everywhere and he’s watching you. It’s a weird feeling, but you know that he’s watching you a lot closer than he should.
This is another of those insidious behaviors that can start out small:
“Sweetie, do you mind not leaving your floss on the counter?”
And before you know it, you’ve got a full blown tyrant on your hands:
“I’d like you to keep the blu-ray discs in alphabetical order. And the cereal boxes in the pantry…”
Or he starts the criticism of you, your friends, your family… or really anything in your life that he doesn’t like. He might even tell you that “I just want you to work on improving yourself” as an excuse for the constant nitpicking.
Just recognize that it’s extremely hard to feel loved and accepted when there’s a constant dynamic of criticism and complaints coming your way.
This is about as far as you can get from “unconditional love.”
Controlling Relationship – Sign 2: It’s flattering, buuuuut….
One of the most outstanding indicators of a controlling personality is that they often wield their most potent weapon in your relationship:
Jealousy feels cool every so often. I mean, who doesn’t like knowing that their partner is so into you that they get a little green with jealousy once in a while? It feels like caring and heartfelt love…
Until it doesn’t.
The key here is being jealous “ONCE” in a while. If it is regular, to the point where you start avoiding going out and socializing with him around because you’re afraid of the consequences, you may have a controller on your hands.
This is particularly difficult because their jealousy can seem like YOU are the one hurting them – but it’s really their own insecurities.
And it’s especially painful when their accusations make it seem like you’re doing this on purpose to hurt them.
Controlling Relationship – Sign 3: Guilty!
In a controlling personality’s mind – you are always guilty until you prove …
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7 signs you’re in a controlling relationship