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TALKING TRASH: What You’re Doing Wrong In Bed…
Let’s start out by saying that we all are a bit nervous when it comes to a new partner – especially when it comes to the bedroom.
After all, we want to not only be attractive to our partner, we want to be competent at making them feel good! And that’s something we don’t want to fail at.
So even though this article is written from a negative point of view – what you’re doing wrong – it’s still going to come from a heart-centered place of understanding that we don’t need to feel faulty or damaged because of mistakes we make in bed.
My goal here is to talk about the mistakes women make with men in the bedroom so that you can avoid any glaringly obvious problems later on.
There are some obvious things to avoid:
Keep your teeth away from Mr. Happy at ALL times
Over-cuddling – anything over 10 minutes is going to feel smothering…
Doing the “dead starfish” position in bed – super un-cool…
100 Questions afterwards – save it for the next day…
And I want to add that just because you read about some cool move in bed from a magazine at the grocery checkout, that doesn’t make it gospel. You only need to do a few things RIGHT in bed to earn his love and respect.
What You’re Doing Wrong In Bed #1 – You’re not playing to win…
You may have heard me talk about this in the past, but there’s a rule for how to play this game o’ love:
Play to WIN… Don’t play to not-lose…
There’s a difference here, and it might escape you at first glance.
Playing to win is a fully committed game…
Playing to not lose is a scaredy-cat game
The game in bed is simply to stay focused on what your man is both showing and telling you about the level of intimacy. And to stay focused on this as an issue for BOTH men and women.
There’s a great scene in the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall, where Woody Allen is talking to his psychiatrist about his sex life, as he says: “We never have sex! It’s like … maybe 3 times a week!”
Cut to his girlfriend talking to her psychiatrist about the same thing: “We’re always having sex! Like… 3 times a week!”
It’s funny, and it illustrates something that is not often discussed:
There is an epidemic of sex-starved husbands out there in the world today. You might not know it, but it’s there.
Women’s wants and needs receive endless public attention in the media today. So how come we can’t talk about married men’s greatest longing – for more sex?
Take a look at your own commitment level, and see if you’re really “all in.” You might be surprised at what you find…
What You’re Doing Wrong In Bed #2 – You’re not having fun…
I really can’t stress this enough – guys are not looking for un-fun partners in life. I’ll bet the same is true of you as well.
No one wants a boring, stodgy old dude for a lover. And that also applies to the bedroom.
When you’re with a man, how much fun are you having?
I find that if the person I’m with is not particularly into it, or not really enthusiastic, or fun – it’s because of their baggage.
And like it or not, the best relationship you can hope to have with someone is going to be in direct proportion to the amount of junk you’re carrying around.
The fastest way a guy can tell if you’re emotionally healthy is to see how …
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What you’re doing wrong in bed with him