For more video dating tips: https://www.datingadviceguru.com/youtube
Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You!
Have you ever heard this quote?
“If you love someone, let them go free… if they don’t come back, it was never meant to be.”
Well, that’s sweet and all, and it’s a positive message, but it really doesn’t help when you can’t have the person you want.
When you love someone and they don’t love you back, dude it sucks.
When I was a kid, I liked girls.
I liked ALL the girls…
But they didn’t all like me back. A lot of the ones I REALLY liked weren’t all that into me at all, in fact.
Back in 10th grade, I remember walking up to Stacy between classes and being excited to see her. I thought, this is a girl I can date! Until she looked up at me with a sheepish stare, avoiding my touch as I reached to hold her hand…
“I don’t know if I like you that way,” Stacy said to me, as if she were almost thinking aloud.
“THAT way? What other way is there?” I wondered.
It turns out that I was heading for the Friend Zone faster than I could possibly imagine. I got there by the start of the next class period, as it happened. Stacy and I fizzled faster than a firecracker thrown in a pond.
So that was my first encounter with unrequited love. And it wouldn’t be my last. It wasn’t until my late 20s that I got rid of my Wussy behaviors that were making me more of a sad consolation than a real PRIZE in the contest of dating.
Wussy is the term men often use when a straight guy acts really indecisive and weak. Usually, it’s a guy who doesn’t have much backbone when he’s in a dating situation, and the woman senses it. He’s friend-zoned almost immediately.
Over the years, I got the hang of not being so darn needy.
But it wasn’t easy. I had to call in an exorcist.
Well, not really. It was a bunch of exorcists:
A sensei to teach me Karate
A business coach to show me how to move up
A therapist to help me get rid of my shaming and insecurities
And so on.
But even that didn’t stop me from experiencing the times when I just wasn’t the right “flavor” for a girl – making me a friend instead of the lover I wanted to be.
I had to learn some very hard lessons about how to stop loving someone who didn’t love me back. Because I knew that I couldn’t waste my time on the wrong relationships.
(What I discovered was that some women would date me, even if they weren’t all that into me. They were just looking to escape loneliness. And I was their “Better Than Nothing.”)
Psychologists say that 98% of us have experienced some form of unrequited love.
I don’t know who that lucky 2% is, but they’re probably some isolated tribe in New Guinea. All I know is that it’s not fun.
Let’s talk about some steps to let this person go, because you know that if you keep on lovin’ them without getting anything back, it might drive you crazy.
Stop that lovin’ feeling – Step 1: Sit With The Awkward…
Look it’s probably not going to come as any surprise, but most people can’t stand to sit with their own emotions. We run to escape them as fast as we possibly can.
Heck, the whole premise of Facebook is to keep you emotionally engaged and distracted from yourself with other people’s lives. They invented the term “Fear Of Missing Out” (F.O.M.O.)
We’re so used to reaching for our phones, or the remote control, or some food to push away the sad feelings.
The reality is that there will be a little pain in letting go of this person. It’s not horrible, but there will be some amount of heartbreak. It’s often worse for you because the other person never matched your feelings, which feels even lonelier.
To make matters worse, this feeling also has REJECTION in it.
Watch out for these warning signs:
Changes in your eating or sleeping habits
Trouble controlling negative thoughts
Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
Changes to your regular mood
Thoughts of self-harm
If you encounter any of these, you may need to seek out professional help. They are warning signs of a loss of mental self-control, possibly bordering on obsession.
Also, try to avoid jumping into a relationship with someone you know isn’t the one as a rebound. That’s another one of the ways we often try to distract ourselves from the Truth. Although, dating a few people casually is a great way to re-establish your feelings of value.
Give yourself time to grieve and let go of this person. It will take a little time. You can’t hurry your healing!
He’s Just Not Into You – Step 2: Drop The …
For the rest – Watch the video!
** SUBSCRIBE for More Videos:
Dating Advice Guru
Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You!